The first few interactions with people, we all make these silent decisions in our hearts on whether or not we like these people (for lack of better words). Over time, some remain in good contact with us, some even become our friends.
Call me naive or whatever, when I decide that I like a person, I really, really make room for him/her somewhere in my heart. Heck, once, I got sad having to part with someone I’d known for only two months, and we barely even talked during that time (due to language barrier, mind you). But during that small period of time, I saw and appreciated how sincere that person was.
If I can see a person I barely know in that light, you can probably get the idea of how I see (and feel) for people I eventually claim as “friends”. As careless a person as I am, I do not take people in my life lightly.
My problem, however, is that I have this tendency of putting people I adore on a pedestal. As John Green puts it : “we all romanticize the people we adore”. I just have this deluded thinking that these people won’t deceive me. I’m not talking about them not having flaws (like being lazy, untidy, cocky, etc). I’m talking about them not hurting my feelings by lying to me, cheating on me, stabbing me from the back, putting up a fake facade (basically : lying to me). In my currency, trust is expensive
(I was gonna say expensive as hell, but it’s easy to go to hell, so that wouldn’t be a valid phrase xD)
My problem is that. And so, one day, I woke up, found out someone lied to me and bham~! I am literally confused now. I don’t really know anymore how to think of people and who to trust.
Be everything you are, good or bad, just be honest about it. I don’t see the point of a relationship if it is built on lies. It may look trivial, like a girlfriend lying about liking soccer because her boyfriend does. Then you come across a situation like Tina on Glee pretending to have this ‘illness’ of stuttering when she talks so that people would sympathize with her. Either way, what’s. the. point.
I am still figuring out how I’m supposed to approach the relationships I have with people. Part of being a grown up, eh. It’s not easy to accept that the world is not as beautiful as I’d want it to be. Turns out, not everyone deserves to be trusted. Not everyone has good intentions. Not everyone wants to be your friend. Not everyone cares about how you feel.
- cheers to all -